paris depression.

help, is it anyone in there?

i swear that i thought i’d become alive at night,
because some do feel better when outside there’s no light,
yet there’s no one in this dark and while i love being alone,
i’m not digging it tonight, so i think i might go home.

and there’s rain, and there’s snow, and these streets look quite weird,
i see people smiling, at night, in my dreams,
but there comes at time when i wake up, and no,
there’s no one out there, no one that i know.

so i keep spinning in circles, on these streets i’ve walked before,
it feels like forever since i’ve last took a walk on,
there are buildings i’ve entered in, places i’ve always seen,
now they all seem unfamiliar, they’re wondering where i’ve been

but they should know by now that i swore i’d return,
i swore i’d move on, i swore i’d let it all burn,
after all, i am my own world’s maker,
but what once was rock inside of me, now is nothing but paper.

so as my eyes look up to the glittery sky,
i’d rather not wonder myself, ‘why, oh why?’,
i’d rather blame my apathy, for not coming back when i should’ve,
if you know more than me, go, shout it


Lucrurile-n comun se-adună uşor, cu ploaia-n faţa ta,
Punctele-s negre, albe, depinde de soare
Aţa păşeşte pe inima ta,
Nu te doare, nu mă doare.

Lucrurile-n comun sunt calme, când le descoperi,
Punctele-s roşii, albăstrii,
Aţa colorează nuferi,
Nu mă doare, nu te doare.

Lucrurile-n comun sunt seci, când se pitesc
Punctele-s negre, verzui,
E greu din nou să le citesc,
Nu mă doare, nu îmi spui.

Lucrurile-n comun sunt albe; când reapar,
Punctele-s şi ele vesel colorate,
Aţa îmi spune că nu o să dispari,
Iar nuferii înoată, albi, printre şoapte.

Sometimes… I just gotta have some fun, right ?


They’re floating deep in space, and it feels like they want something from me. They’re watching without saying a single word, or, maybe they can’t even talk. It feels like they want me there, with them, they want me to float, to let it all go, they want me to strongly hold their hands, and enjoy the moment, the timeless moment that never, never ends.

And I stand there, thinking, what can I lose by joining them? By leaving my broken body on earth, by putting my thoughts in a box, all the memories, photographs I took for so many years, every morning, staring at you sleeping in our bed, next to me?

But, maybe, floating with them is the solution, the answer, my own liberation. I don’t have to reach them, because they will come after me whenever I decide to let it all go. They will enter my room, smile at me, while I keep breathing. Not for long though.

Now, this is the moment. I’m letting it go. My last breath, the last time I watch the sky from above, the last time I’ll see you holding my hand, and desperately begging me to stay there, to hold on… to nothing.

Oh, how I’ve missed my brother.