They’re floating deep in space, and it feels like they want something from me. They’re watching without saying a single word, or, maybe they can’t even talk. It feels like they want me there, with them, they want me to float, to let it all go, they want me to strongly hold their hands, and enjoy the moment, the timeless moment that never, never ends.

And I stand there, thinking, what can I lose by joining them? By leaving my broken body on earth, by putting my thoughts in a box, all the memories, photographs I took for so many years, every morning, staring at you sleeping in our bed, next to me?

But, maybe, floating with them is the solution, the answer, my own liberation. I don’t have to reach them, because they will come after me whenever I decide to let it all go. They will enter my room, smile at me, while I keep breathing. Not for long though.

Now, this is the moment. I’m letting it go. My last breath, the last time I watch the sky from above, the last time I’ll see you holding my hand, and desperately begging me to stay there, to hold on… to nothing.

Oh, how I’ve missed my brother.


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